Spring Fling Page 9

  Spencer looked down at his shoes, blushing. It was so good to have a friend like Cassie. He never wanted to lose her, not for anything.

  Having a second person to feel that way about was strange, but good. Feeling as though more than one person would have his back if he needed them was great. Spencer wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so secure. His life had never seemed this on-track before.

  He had a great best friend, a hot boyfriend, and his career was moving forward, slowly but surely. There was nothing else in life he wanted.

  “I’m gonna buy you this shirt,” Cassie said.

  “You really don’t have to. I can afford my own shirts.”

  “No, it’s a gift. A congratulations on your gorgeous boyfriend gift.” Cassie grinned at him. “But I will need to hear all about him now.”

  Spencer chuckled. “I’ve actually been dying to tell someone. And since you figured it out on your own…”

  “I’m the perfect person to tell.” Cassie held the shirt close, keeping it out of Spencer’s reach. “Come on.”

  Spencer followed her, figuring there was no point in arguing further. He’d buy her lunch to even them up again. Besides, he did want to tell her all about Jesse. He’d wanted to tell her from the beginning, before he’d decided to ignore the rules.

  Telling one person couldn’t possibly hurt.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “Whoa, nice shirt,” Jesse said as Spencer walked into the office. He was wearing a blue shirt with pinkish roses on it, the pattern spilling out from under his sweater vest. It was a lot bolder than Spencer’s normally conservative wardrobe choices, so Jesse had noticed it immediately.

  Jesse wasn’t the kind of person who cared about the way people were dressed, normally, but it did look good on Spencer.

  Of course, his preferred outfit on Spencer was nothing, but he couldn’t come into work naked. At least, not if he wanted to keep his job.

  Spencer smiled shyly at him as he put his laptop bag down on the desk. “Thank you. I picked it out because I thought you’d like it. Well, that’s a lie. Cassie picked it out, but I told her I wanted something floral.”

  Jesse’s heart swelled in his chest. Spencer was making wardrobe decisions with him in mind, now. It wasn’t often that someone wanted to impress him, but he was pretty sure that was what Spencer was doing.

  It was nice to have someone care about him enough to think of him when he wasn’t around. Spencer had done that a few times now, and it never failed to make Jesse feel humbled and ridiculously lucky to have found him.

  He’d have to think of something to do for Spencer that would make him feel the same way.

  “That’s… I don’t think anyone’s ever dressed up for me before,” Jesse said, blushing. Spencer always managed to do things that surprised him, but never in a bad way. Having someone want to do nice things for him felt really good.

  Spencer wet his lips. “Well, I’m glad you like it, because I have to talk to you about something.”

  “Oh?” Jesse’s stomach sank. That sounded ominous. He didn’t think Spencer would wear a shirt he thought Jesse would like to break up with him, but there were things other than breakups that could go wrong in a relationship.

  Maybe Spencer was about to tell Jesse that he was into wearing women’s underwear or something.

  Although. That wasn’t really a bad thing. He could imagine Spencer in a nice pair of lace panties, and it would answer the question of what to do for him.

  It probably wasn’t that. Something that simple would be too easy.

  “Apparently, we’re not being all that discreet,” Spencer said. “There are rumors about us. About us maybe being closer than just colleagues. We go to all of each other’s lectures, apparently I look at you like you’re the only person in the room…”

  Jesse smiled at that. “I’ve noticed. I like it.”

  “I mean, I’m not surprised to learn that I do it,” Spencer said sheepishly, blushing. “You often are the only person in the room to me. But obviously, people aren’t supposed to know.”

  “Right,” Jesse said. “So no more going to your lectures.”

  “Yeah.” Spencer sighed. “I hate to say that, but yeah. I am going to miss you.”

  “I’m gonna miss you, too.” Jesse smiled wryly. “But I’m sorry I’ve put you in a position where you have to worry. I don’t want to make you stress out. I want to support you.”

  “You do support me,” Spencer said softly. “Before I met you I was just… getting through one day after the next with only a really distant goal in sight. Now I have something to look forward to.”

  Jesse’s stomach flipped. He was something Spencer looked forward to. That was an amazing feeling.

  “You mean a lot to me, too. I love hanging out with you. I feel like you get me.”

  Spencer smiled. “Feeling’s mutual. And I am really sorry that things have to be like this. If I could just tell the world, I would. I don’t want to hide you away.”

  “Hey, I get it, and it’s fine. I knew what I was signing up for when you took me up that mountain. I’d rather have you in secret than not at all.”

  “And yet, I still feel guilty.”

  Jesse’s heart went out to Spencer. He was trying to everything right, and clearly stressing out over it. Jesse wanted to reach out and hug him, but he was pretty sure that would be the opposite of more discreet. The chance that anyone would see was slim, but it existed.

  He wasn’t going to take any more risks with Spencer. He was having way too much fun with him to lose him now.

  “Seriously, it’s okay,” Jesse said. “I’d kiss you to show you it’s okay, but that’d kind of screw up the whole being more discreet at work thing.”

  “I appreciate the offer all the same. Can I take a raincheck on it?”

  “Obviously.” Jesse smiled. This was fine, really. They just needed to remember that what they were doing was technically against the rules and act accordingly.

  They’d gotten complacent about it, and now they’d gotten a wake-up call in time. It was actually a good thing that they were having this conversation now.

  Spencer clearly didn’t quite see it that way, but Jesse would show him that it was fine, and that their relationship didn’t have to suffer for it.

  “I was also thinking… I mean, if you wanted to… we could go on a real date?” Spencer asked. “I mean, out in public. Maybe to dinner? This weekend?”

  Jesse raised an eyebrow. “I would love to go on a real date with you, but what if someone sees?”

  Spencer wet his lips. “I was going to take us out of town. Like, maybe an hour or so away. We’ll be among people who can’t recognize us.”

  Clearly, Spencer had given this some thought.

  The idea of actually getting to go on a real, in-public date with him was too good to ignore. And Spencer was right—if they were well and truly out of town, no one would know who they were or that they weren’t really meant to be out together.

  “Then count me in,” Jesse said.

  “Good.” Spencer smiled down at his desk, blushing. “I was hoping you’d say that. It’s really not that I don’t want to be seen with you.”

  “I know.”

  Jesse did know. He didn’t think Spencer was like that at all. He’d known people who were ashamed of the relationships they were in, but Spencer wasn’t one of them. Circumstances just meant that they couldn’t be completely out in the open about it.

  Honestly, keeping the secret and having to sneak around was kind of hot. Jesse would have preferred they could be honest, too, but secrecy wasn’t exactly a terrible fate. It made the times when they didn’t have to hide it all the more exciting.

  He couldn’t wait to get to go out and be normal for once, though. Jesse wanted the whole world to see him with his cute boyfriend.

  Chapter Seventeen

  After the turbulence their relationship had been through since the beginning, Spencer was grateful that he and Jesse were getting o
ut of town to just be together.

  He was falling, hard and fast, but he’d only had a handful of chances to enjoy Jesse’s company when they were alone and not in fear of being seen. All of those times had involved sex. While Spencer liked the sex and wasn’t about to give it up, he did want to spend non-sex time with Jesse.

  “All I’m saying is, Batman is probably better at hand-to-hand combat than Iron Man and he does have all the cool gadgets, but he’d ultimately lose in a fight because Iron Man doesn’t mind killing people. That’s it.” Jesse shrugged.

  They’d been having this conversation for most of the drive, and Spencer was having the time of his life. Moments like this were how he knew that he really was falling for Jesse, not just overexcited about having sex regularly.

  He connected to Jesse on a much deeper level than the physical. For the first time in his adult life, he felt like someone—other than Cassie—would actually choose to be around him. Jesse had chosen him, right from the first moment, and Spencer had never stopped thinking that was amazing.

  “Iron Man doesn’t just kill people to end fights. He’s not a monster,” Spencer argued. “He also broods less.”

  “I don’t think brooding is a combat skill, but I will accept that point.” Jesse laughed. The first real hints of the coming spring were in the air today, rays of sunlight peeking through the cloud cover. They’d had clear days during the winter, but the sun had always seemed harsh and cold. Now, as it set over the horizon, it felt warmer.

  Maybe that was just the company. Everything seemed a little brighter around Jesse.

  “So I win?” Spencer asked.

  “If winning will make you happy, you win,” Jesse agreed. “Batman would win in a fight.”

  “Oh,” Spencer said softly. His heart fluttered in his chest. Jesse was willing to accept defeat if it would make Spencer happy. “I don’t actually have to win to be happy.”

  “I didn’t think so,” Jesse said. “But I… uh…”

  Spencer swallowed. Was Jesse about to say he loved him?

  If so, what would his own reaction be? Was he ready to hear that? He liked Jesse, and he knew that if they kept seeing each other like this that he was going to fall in love with him, and soon. Maybe he was already in love with him. Spencer wasn’t entirely sure how he was supposed to tell.

  Being loved was a whole different thing, though. No one had ever loved him romantically before, as far as Spencer knew. If they had, they definitely hadn’t said so.

  “What about The Flash?” Spencer asked, changing the subject. He wasn’t ready to find out, and Jesse obviously hadn’t been quite ready to say it. That was okay. It wasn’t as if they were about to break up.

  As they drove, the discussion continued—ultimately ending in the conclusion that most superheroes were evenly matched for one reason or another, and that fights would end in a stalemate.

  Even while they were talking about other things, Spencer couldn’t quite make himself stop thinking about what would have happened if Jesse had said he loved him.

  He knew he would have blushed. Probably stammered a little. Would he have said it back? Would he have meant it if he did?

  Spencer had chosen the restaurant they were going to based on online reviews, so he hoped it was as good as they said. If not, he’d look like an idiot in front of Jesse, which he definitely didn’t want. It was important to him that Jesse thought well of him.

  “You didn’t strike me as an Italian kinda guy,” Jesse said, looking up at the sign when they got out of the car.

  “I figured checked tablecloths, candles, and baskets of breadsticks are all important date traditions for relationships that are getting a little serious.” Spencer shrugged.

  “Are you saying you wanna get serious with me?” Jesse grinned, obviously thrilled by the idea.

  “If you’ll have me.” Spencer beamed back. “I just want tonight to be a reminder that I like you and I do want to be dating you, even if I can’t do that like a normal person.”

  “Next you’re gonna want me to put out,” Jesse joked. He threw an arm around Spencer as they headed for the door. In that moment, it was bliss. They were together, and they were having fun, and they didn’t have to worry about consequences.

  It was so good to be able to breathe.

  They sat down at a little corner table with the requisite candle, bottle of water and wine glasses in the middle, and basket of breadsticks provided by their waitress with the menus. It was predictable, but that was perfect.

  All Spencer wanted was to go out to an extremely standard restaurant with a boy he liked. That was what this was. That made it the best date ever before it had even really started.

  Jesse made it the best date ever. Spending time with Jesse was Spencer’s new favorite thing.

  “So, what do you do for a living?” Jesse smirked, glancing up from the menu he wasn’t reading.

  “Oh, you wouldn’t be interested,” Spencer said. “It’s nothing exciting.”

  “Actually, I think it’s cool that teaching is your thing. I don’t think I’ve said that before. But being able to pass on your knowledge to the next generation of scientists is awesome.”

  “Really?” Spencer could hardly believe what he was hearing. He knew Jesse was teaching, too, but he also knew that Jesse saw it as a something he was doing while he waited for his real career to start. People often thought of teaching at college level as a way of avoiding getting a real job.

  Apparently, Jesse understood that it was a real job for Spencer. That was why he’d been so good about keeping their relationship a secret.

  Spencer didn’t know exactly what he’d done to deserve someone like Jesse, but he was glad he’d done it. He was glad he’d taken the risk for him.

  “Really,” Jesse said. “I don’t see why you’re surprised. I wouldn’t be where I am today without some of the amazing professors I had. You are that amazing professor for your students. You’re amazing.”

  Spencer’s ears burned, and he had to look down at the menu to compose himself. Jesse really did think he was good at what he did. Spencer wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with that.

  He was in love with Jesse. That was definitely a thing.

  Spencer wasn’t sure how to deal with that, either, but there it was.

  Now didn’t seem like the time to say anything. He wanted to be surer of Jesse’s feelings toward him before he mentioned it. But it was good to know.

  Warmth spread in Spencer’s stomach, excitement making him smile without meaning to. He was in love. He was in love with someone who might love him back for the first time, ever.

  Hopefully, Jesse wouldn’t notice. Spencer just wanted to have a nice, normal date. The rest of their relationship had been weird and intense, and he didn’t want to make tonight that way because he couldn’t keep his feelings to himself.

  “So, do you know what you’re ordering?” Jesse asked. Spencer shook his head, but he was grateful for the distraction. He wanted to talk about food and comic books and what movies they were looking forward to over the coming year. Not about big, scary, emotional things.

  “If you’ve got suggestions, I’m all ears,” Spencer said.

  He could tell Jesse later. When the time was right.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Five weeks into the semester, Jesse was starting to feel like he was getting the hang of the whole teaching thing. Not the lecturing so much—that had actually come much easier than he’d expected—but the part where he talked one-on-one to all the kids who needed a little extra guidance.

  He was also starting to get why Spencer liked it so much. It was rewarding to be in a position to really help, to set up the careers—academic or otherwise—of so many people. Teaching still wasn’t Jesse’s calling and never would be, but he’d developed a newfound respect for it.

  To his eternal surprise, he even looked forward to his designated office hours. Spencer was elsewhere today while he was alone, but that was okay. It was more fun wi
th him around, but Jesse didn’t feel the need to lean on him as much as he had done in the beginning of the semester.

  “Hey, umm. Alexa, right?”

  “Right.” Alexa smiled at him, clearly pleased that he’d remembered her name. Jesse was, as far as he was concerned, about average with names, but he was trying to remember his students where possible.

  “What can I do for you? Please, sit.” Jesse indicated the chair in front of his desk. There was just enough room between his and Spencer’s desks for them to speak to one student at a time each, as long as they kept the chairs staggered.

  “I’m… kinda sucking at coming up with an essay question that isn’t dumb for this assignment.”

  Jesse smiled kindly. “I suck at coming up with essay questions too, but I bet between us we can think of something.”

  This was the part he liked. Getting to do something practical to make someone’s life a little easier, make it a tiny bit more likely that they’d reach their goals.

  The lecturing he could give up today and never miss it once. Lectures were more Spencer’s thing. He was way better at them, and Jesse missed attending them.

  Once they’d hashed out an essay question between them, Jesse asked Alexa how she was going with the class in general and if she thought the material was engaging enough, if there was anything he could be doing better or differently.

  She was either too polite or too scared to criticize. Jesse got that. He wouldn’t have told any of his undergrad professors what he really thought of their teaching skills.

  “I’m really glad you’re enjoying the course,” Jesse said once he established that she seemed to be pretty happy. “It’s my first semester as a professor, so you guys have to teach me as much as I teach you.”

  “Everyone I know in class thinks you’re pretty awesome.” Alexa shrugged. “They also think you’ve got a thing for Professor Harris.”

  Jesse’s face heated up immediately, though he wished he could stop himself from blushing. He really, really didn’t want to give himself away. More importantly, he didn’t want to give Spencer away.