The Substitute Read online

  The Substitute

  Sean Ashcroft

  Copyright © 2018 by Sean Ashcroft

  All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Chapter One

  Flynn tapped his fingers on his thigh as he waited for Callie to pick up the phone, suddenly nervous about what he was about to ask. He had no reason to be—if Callie said no, it wasn’t the end of the world, and it wasn’t like their friendship was at risk over this or anything.

  All the same, he jumped as the call connected. “Hey, Flynn.”

  “Uh…” Flynn began, words escaping him for a moment. “Hey, umm. What’re my chances of getting to borrow you from your girlfriend next weekend? We’re going to Vegas, on me.”

  “We’re going to Vegas?” Callie asked, her voice suspicious.

  “Aiden’s getting married,” Flynn explained.

  “Aww, your baby brother all grown up,” she said, and then sighed. “So I guess if you’re asking me, you broke up with Stacy, huh?”

  “Yeah.” Flynn swallowed. That was still a little raw two weeks later, but he’d get over it. A break was exactly what he needed, so Aiden’s timing couldn’t have been better.

  “I liked her,” Callie said. “She was so pretty.”

  Flynn snorted. “You’re such a lesbian,” he said fondly. “I don’t really wanna talk about it. I guess we just… weren’t in love, so it’s good that we broke up now instead of just sticking to routine, you know?”

  “Do you not want to talk about it, or do you want to talk about it?” Callie asked.

  She’d listen, Flynn knew. She’d listen to whatever he had to say, because they’d been best friends since middle school and she loved him more than anyone else did, probably, and he felt the same way about her. Except that Alexis probably loved her just as much as he did, and Flynn had never quite found anyone to feel that way about him.

  But Flynn wasn’t ready to talk. There’d been a lot of things happening that Callie didn’t know about, and aside from feeling guilty about not telling her, he still wasn’t ready to tell her. Maybe someday, but not right now.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” Flynn confirmed. “But, uh. I need a wedding date, obviously, because I’d rather not face this guy’s entire family all by myself and I’m pretty sure I’m the only person Aiden’s inviting.”

  “I think it’ll probably be fine if you borrow me,” Callie said. “So he’s really getting married, huh?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I guess he is. He’s only been dating this guy for like six months, and it’s not really a surprise that I haven’t met him, I guess, but it seems a little…”

  “Sudden? Impulsive? Oh, I know: Aiden-like.”

  Flynn snorted. Callie wasn’t wrong, this was the kind of thing Aiden tended to do. He wasn’t the kind of person who spent a lot of time thinking about a course of action. Which wasn’t a bad thing, necessarily, though in Aiden’s case it had a tendency to backfire.

  At least it wasn’t as though he had a fortune to lose in the almost inevitable divorce.

  Not that Flynn wanted Aiden to get divorced, and some part of him was hoping that this guy, whoever he was, would be a grounding influence for his little brother, give him something to cling to, someone to listen to every now and again.

  And he wanted Aiden to be happy. One of them deserved to be.

  “I guess it’s love,” Flynn said, trying to convince himself more than Callie. “Maybe this’ll be good for him. I don’t know. But he’s my brother, I have to be there.”

  Callie hummed. “He ever pay back that ten thousand dollar loan?”

  Flynn laughed, but he couldn’t help a note of bitterness sneaking into it. “You’re funny. No, of course not. I wrote that money off the moment I agreed to give it to him. But he’s my little brother,” he argued.

  “Could you afford that, though? I know you’re not in trouble financially, but that’s a big hit for anyone.”

  “Cost me a couple of vacations and a new phone,” Flynn said. “But it’s okay. He’s all I’ve got.”

  “You’ve got me. And Alexis, and the baby. You’re always welcome here.”

  “I know, but…”

  “But you’ve been sweeping up after him since your parents died and it’s a hard habit to break, and you love him, anyway, and it’s only a wedding. That about sum it up?”

  Flynn swallowed. It did, and he knew Callie wasn’t actually judging him for it, but… well, he hated when she just laid his thoughts out like that. Especially when she was right.

  “How is Lily?” he asked, in an attempt to change the topic so transparent he could have read the newspaper through it.

  If anyone had bought a newspaper in the past ten years, anyway.

  “Sleeping through the night, now! She’s ahead of schedule on that one. She gets her sleeping skills from me.”

  Flynn chuckled. “Sounds right. But that’s awesome. I have to come see you guys sometime soon.”

  “Well… if we’re going to this wedding anyway, come over the night before and stay in the guest room? Then you can play with her as much as you want before we leave.”

  Flynn’s heart leapt at the thought. That was exactly what he needed to fortify himself before he headed off.

  “So you’re definitely coming?” Flynn asked. “It’s all on me, hell, it’s already paid for, and there’ll be free food and booze, so…”

  “I’m coming,” Callie said. “Of course I am. A break sounds good right about now anyway. Just… email me the details, I guess.”

  “You know I love you?” Flynn said, grinning. It was such a relief to know he didn’t have to go on his own.

  “I know. I love you, too,” Callie responded.

  “So I’ll come over… Thursday? I have flights booked for Friday afternoon, if that’s okay.”

  “Works for me,” Callie said.

  “Anyone ever told you you’re incredible?” Flynn asked, relief washing over him all over again. He wasn’t going to be alone. He’d have Callie right there.

  Hell, maybe this would even be fun. The two of them hadn’t gotten to spend a whole lot of time together lately, and he missed her.

  “All the time,” Callie said, laughing. “But I still like to hear it.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Flynn said. “Well, you are incredible, so you deserve it.”

  He was just starting to think that maybe this wedding wouldn’t be a total disaster.

  Chapter Two

  Zach grinned to himself as he stood in the elevator with a bag full of snacks and supplies, excitement welling up in his chest. This time tomorrow, he’d be married.

  He’d never really expected that to happen. Until he met Aiden, he couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to marry him.

  He was nervous as hell, afraid he’d screw it up somehow, but the thought that someone as gorgeous and fun and exciting as Aiden wanted to marry him, of all people, was enough to override that. This was a dream come true, and he could hardly wait to start the rest of their lives together.

  “Honey?” he called as he slipped into their hotel room, not seeing Aiden immediately as the door closed behind him.

  He was probably in the shower. He’d said he wanted one before Zach went out, and he hadn’t been gone that long, and sometimes Aiden meant to do something but got distracted by his phone or something and it took him twice as long as everyone else.

  Zach liked to think of that as endearing.

  He left his bags on the bed, figuring they could go through them later, and pushed open the door to the bathroom.

  No Aiden.

  Huh.

&
nbsp; Another sweeping glance of the room made his stomach sink.

  Aiden’s suitcase was gone. It had been right next to Zach’s own, still packed, and now it… wasn’t.

  He swallowed thickly, unsure what this meant. Cold dread crept up his spine, fear that all the times he’d thought this was too good to be true were coming back to haunt him.

  Maybe they were just being moved to a different room. Yeah, that had to be it. Aiden was only gone for a second, and he’d be back any moment. Reception would know. He could call.

  Zach’s knee bounced nervously as he waited for the receptionist to pick up the phone. He chewed on his lip, jumping at the sound of the call finally connecting.

  He didn’t make a lot of phone calls. He tried to avoid them at all costs, usually, but this seemed urgent.

  “Umm, hi,” he said in response to the receptionist’s greeting. “I’m staying here with someone and-”

  He cut himself off, finally noticing a note next to the phone. His name was scrawled on it in Aiden’s slightly shaky cursive.

  “Oh,” he said to the receptionist. “Umm. Never mind, I think, uh. I’ll call back,” he said, hanging up the phone in a panic.

  His fingers trembled as he reached out for the note, teeth digging deep into his bottom lip as he skimmed the contents, his stomach tying up in knots.

  I can’t do this, it read. Sorry. It’s not about you, it’s about me. You’re great, and I hope you have a great life.

  Aiden.

  Not even love, Aiden. Just… Aiden.

  Tears sprung up in Zach’s eyes.

  Some part of him had been expecting this.

  Some part of him knew that it had all been too easy, that there had to have been some mistake, that this great, gorgeous guy he’d met and been swept off his feet by couldn’t possibly stick around. That he didn’t deserve it. That at some point, Aiden would realize he could do better and walk away.

  He hadn’t exactly expected it to happen on the eve of their wedding, though. Aiden had seemed excited, too.

  Shit. Maybe Zach had been reading him wrong all this time. Maybe he’d been making an idiot of himself for months.

  A knock on the door made him jump.

  Maybe… maybe Aiden had changed his mind?

  Zach swallowed, already knowing he was going to forgive him, and got up on unsteady legs to answer the door.

  “Aiden?” he asked, tears blurring his vision. He wiped them away and saw the confused face of the man in front of him. A man who looked a lot like Aiden, but definitely wasn’t him.

  “No, uh. I’m his older brother, Flynn.”

  Of course. Aiden had told Zach about him and said they’d get to meet at the wedding.

  “Oh, I… umm…”

  Zach burst into tears all over again, unable to stop himself, his cheeks burning with embarrassment. He couldn’t tell Aiden’s older brother what he’d done, he really didn’t expect to get any sympathy for it.

  “Shit,” Flynn said, giving him the gentlest of nudges back into the room. “What did he do?”

  All Zach could make himself do in response was sob harder.

  He jumped when a pair of arms wrapped around him. Not Flynn’s, but a woman’s.

  “It’s okay, honey,” she said, holding him tight. Zach heard the door close, but as if it was a thousand miles away. “Whatever it is, it’s not the end of the world.”

  “He left,” Zach sobbed, clinging to the woman who was hugging him. She smelled of lilacs and citrus, bright and sweet and comforting. Maybe he shouldn’t have been crying in the arms of… Flynn’s girlfriend? Or wife, maybe?

  That would make sense, since she’d arrived with Flynn. Aiden had called his brother painfully straight.

  “I’ll text him,” Flynn said. “Get him to come back here and explain himself.”

  “He left a note,” Zach mumbled, his voice muffled by the woman’s shoulder. Steeling himself, he pushed away to go and get it, handing it over to Flynn.

  “I’m Callie,” the woman said once he’d given the note to Flynn, extending her hand.

  “Zach,” he said, a sense of calm washing over him as he shook it. Callie seemed nice. Flynn was lucky.

  “I’ll kill him,” Flynn muttered, folding the note back up and stuffing it in his pocket. Zach thought about asking for it back for half a second, and then realized he didn’t really want it. It was better if Flynn kept it.

  “He doesn’t have to marry me if he doesn’t want to,” Zach said, tears welling up in his eyes all over again. He hated that he was crying in front of two practical strangers, but he couldn’t stop himself.

  He’d been ready for this. Aiden had treated him like he was someone special, and no one ever did that, and he’d just… wanted more of that. He wanted someone to love him.

  It was just sinking in that maybe Aiden hadn’t. At least, not enough to marry him.

  Zach knew it had been sudden, but Aiden had asked when he’d explained why he needed to get married soon, so…

  Well, maybe he’d pushed him too far. Taken him for granted. Been too needy.

  This time, Flynn wrapped his arms around him instead, pulling him close and letting him rest against his broad, solid chest, and he wasn’t Aiden’s identical twin or anything, but in that moment he was so much like him that Zach couldn’t help but burst into tears again, sobbing against his shoulder.

  “I’ll get him a glass of water,” Callie said, her footsteps trailing off toward the bathroom.

  Flynn rubbed his back in big, comforting circles. “Hey, I know this sucks right now,” he said. “But between you and me, you probably dodged a bullet. He’s always been like this. You’ll find someone else.”

  “You don’t understand,” Zach sniffed. “It’s not… it was… Aiden was doing me a favor.”

  Flynn’s silence told him that he didn’t really believe that.

  As comforting as Flynn’s broad chest and masculine leather-and-sage with a hint of lemongrass scent was, Zach pulled away from him to look him in the eyes. The corners of his mouth wouldn’t stop trembling, and he accepted the glass of water Callie offered him with shaking hands.

  “I wanted to be with him,” Zach said. “Really, I did, but also… this is gonna sound so stupid.”

  “It’s not gonna sound stupid,” Flynn said, his voice low and soothing.

  Callie was lucky to have him, too. They were a beautiful couple.

  “My grandma is offering to pay for my MFA,” Zach said. “On the condition that I get married first. You know. Because artists don’t make any money and I have to have someone to support me.” He rolled his eyes.

  He knew his grandma meant well, but while he needed the money to even consider going back to school, he was doing just fine with whatever work he could pick up and sales of his pieces.

  Hell, he’d been supporting Aiden, mostly, but his grandma wouldn’t budge. He knew her well enough to know better than to ask.

  “And I’ve got a spot, but I’ve already deferred it for a full year, and if I don’t register for classes next week I’ll lose it,” Zach said.

  “Oh,” Flynn said. “So you were getting married tomorrow…”

  “Because of the deadline, yeah. I mean. I would have been happy with Aiden, I think. I don’t know anymore. Maybe I pushed him into this. Maybe this is my fault,” he said, looking down at the floor.

  His mouth was trembling again, and the tears were stinging at his eyes, and he wished he’d never gotten into any of this.

  “I just saw a way for all my dreams to come true and now…” Zach trailed off, swallowing thickly.

  Flynn made a sympathetic noise, but didn’t say anything.

  “He asked, though,” Zach said quietly. “He asked me to marry him, and I didn’t tell him about the condition until after because I thought it’d never happen, but then he was so excited and he said the sooner the better and I… this isn’t fair.”

  Tears spilled over onto his cheeks, his lungs burning with the need for a
ir, and his chest hurt, and his heart hurt, and he couldn’t do this. He’d lost everything he’d thought he had in the space of an hour and it wasn’t fair and maybe he did deserve it but he couldn’t see what he’d done wrong.

  It wasn’t fair.

  “I just wanted one nice thing for myself and I thought I had it and now everything I had is gone,” Zach said, louder than he meant to, shocking himself. “I hate him.”

  He swallowed thickly, took a deep breath, and then sighed. “I don’t hate him,” Zach corrected.

  He didn’t. He was just mad, and heartbroken, and felt as though he was in free fall, his whole world crumbling around him. He was going to get married, finish his MFA, then settle down and maybe talk to Aiden about adopting a kid or six. That had been the life plan. Everyone was going to be happy.

  Except Aiden obviously hadn’t been, but also hadn’t been willing to talk to Zach about it. Was he really that bad?

  “Do you want me to talk to him?” Flynn asked, soft and gentle.

  Zach looked up at him through tears. “Do you think he’ll listen?”

  Flynn shrugged. “Maybe. Worth a shot. Could just be that he got nervous.”

  Zach sniffed, and then nodded. If there was the faintest hope…

  He didn’t care about the wedding. Not really. It’d be a shame to miss it, but… Aiden was the only person in the world who saw him for who he was.

  And now he’d run away, which maybe said more about Zach than it did about him. Maybe he’d asked for too much. All he’d wanted was to be loved.

  “You should take a nap,” Callie said. “And I think all three of us could stand to eat, so we’ll bring you something back. Okay?”

  Zach nodded, feeling all of five years old. “Okay,” he said. His stomach growled in agreement, and he could have used a nap right about now. He felt hollowed out and exhausted.

  Flynn clasped a hand around Zach’s shoulder and guided him gently to the bed, sitting with him while he kicked off his shoes and changed into a pair of sweatpants he’d brought along.

  He even held the covers up for Zach as he crawled into the bed, and if Zach hadn’t already known, it would have been so easy to tell that he was the older brother. Everything about him was so caring.