Cruising Read online

  Cruising

  Sean Ashcroft

  Copyright © 2019 by Sean Ashcroft

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Epilogue

  Deleted Scene

  Thank you from Sean

  1

  Rowan

  I wasn’t sure what I’d been expecting when I opened the door to my cabin, but this wasn’t it.

  The decor and the port-side window were probably nice, but I couldn’t see any of it past the very naked man standing on the far side of the bed. The very naked, very hot man not even trying to cover himself up, all gloriously defined chest and gym-perfect abs, a deep V leading down to…

  Shit. Stop looking.

  “I… I’m so sorry,” I said, willing myself not to let my gaze fall below his navel. “Wrong cabin?”

  The man shook his head, black coffee eyes sparkling as he grinned at me.

  “Don’t think so. Not if your key card opened it.”

  I looked back at the number on the still-open door, and then the number on my card.

  A match.

  “I don’t mind giving half the ship a free show,” the man said. “But if you hold the door open too long it’ll start beeping and then you’ll have to explain to security that you were too busy staring at me like you’d never seen a man naked before to close it.”

  I stepped through the door and let it swing closed.

  I was staring.

  I was staring and I needed to stop that.

  Clearing my throat, I turned to face the corner and tried not to think about the carved-from-marble work of masculine perfection standing just a few feet away, completely naked.

  Horror dawned over me as I realized that this was my roommate. A second wave hit as I remembered that I’d only seen one bed.

  “Are you sure this is—”

  “Positive,” he said, punctuated by the sound of fabric rustling. “Rowan, right? I already read the little information card they left for me.”

  Oh dear God.

  I hadn’t thought anyone was going to read that when I’d filled it out.

  What had I said?

  Nothing horribly embarrassing immediately came to mind, but it’d been over a week ago and I’d been tired. Who knew what kind of stupid profile I’d written for myself.

  “Ah, yes.” I looked down at my shoes. “So this is…”

  “The right cabin, yeah. Am I that bad? You haven’t even read the card yet.”

  We were supposed to have been matched by a few preferences—whether or not we smoked, whether or not we were early risers, languages in common, and a few other questions I’d forgotten and really wished now that I hadn’t.

  I was pretty sure no one had asked me if I minded sharing a room with a man so flawlessly beautiful that I was self-conscious already.

  The knot in my stomach that I’d been nursing all day tightened uncomfortably.

  I turned back around just in time to watch him tug a pair of jeans up over his wine-red underwear, which left me staring at the perfectly-sculpted curve of his ass.

  “Guess that saves us being awkward about dressing and undressing,” he said, turning to face me. “Call me Lee.”

  “Lee,” I repeated, shaking his offered hand. “Umm. Pleasure to meet you. Sorry about walking in like that.”

  Lee snorted, waving my concern away with another bright grin. “You’re not the first person to see me naked and I doubt you’ll be the last.”

  His gaze travelled up and down the full length of my body, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

  “So, uh…” Lee ran a hand through his polished walnut curls, just a few shades lighter than his eyes.

  I hadn’t realized there were real people who looked like this. Even the tiny scar through his eyebrow was perfect, as though it’d been put there just to prove that he was real.

  “Come here often?” he asked, beaming at me again. Did he ever stop smiling?

  “Uh. No.” The tips of my ears burned. I knew he wasn't flirting with me—or if he was, it was just what he did—but I hadn’t had this much attention from an attractive man in a long time, and I’d forgotten how to handle it.

  That was a lie. I’d never known how to handle it.

  “First time,” I eventually gritted out.

  The way Lee’s eyes sparkled didn’t help with my embarrassment levels.

  “I’ll be gentle,” he promised. “I’m sorry, I’m exhausted and being exhausted makes me awkward.”

  This was him being awkward? I couldn't imagine what he’d be like when he wasn’t tired.

  “Don’t let me keep you from napping,” I said, and then suddenly remembered the bed.

  The one bed. The only bed.

  I glanced at it over Lee's shoulder, the knot in my stomach tightening again.

  “I hate to ask a man about his preferences in bed before he’s even bought me a drink,” Lee said. “But if there’s a side you’re after, now might be the time to speak up.”

  How did he manage to make everything he said sound like a pick-up line? Was he doing it on purpose?

  “I, uh. No particular preference. I never sleep in strange beds.”

  Lee’s eyes lit up. “Never?” he asked, grinning all over again.

  It took me a second to realize what I’d said, and another second to stop myself from blurting out that I’d had sex before, even in beds that weren’t mine.

  How was I going to do this for ten days?

  “They’ve apologized about the bed,” Lee continued, saving me from saying anything I’d regret. “Apparently there’s a lot more singles on this cruise than they usually expect. They’ve left us each a complimentary drinks card to compensate for the inconvenience.”

  He paused, looking at me closely again.

  “Or I’m sure we could find someone to swap with you? Offer most of these people free drinks and they’d fall over themselves at the chance. If sharing a bed bothers you.”

  It did. It bothered me deeply and for a number of reasons.

  But the look on Lee's face stopped me from saying so. The cheerful grin was gone, the sparkle of his eyes dulled, uncertainty etched into every line of his face.

  I didn’t like being rejected either, and I couldn’t do it to him.

  “Not at all,” I lied.

  Just like that, Lee’s grin was back.

  “Good. I was so relieved when you walked in.”

  He was?

  Why?

  “Oh?” I asked as casually as I could.

  “You look clean and neat,” he said. “I’m not the neatest man on the planet, but I appreciate a roommate who washes regularly.”

  Oh. Right. Of course.

  This might have been a gay cruise, but a roommate was a roommate.

 
“So do I,” I agreed. “I don’t think they asked that in the compatibility survey.”

  Lee chuckled. “I think they assume everyone likes to be clean. They’re… optimistic. But they’ve done right by me this time. I’ll have to send a thank-you note.”

  “I’m, uh. I’m glad you’re happy.”

  “I think we’ll get along just fine,” he said. “Just… put a sock on the doorknob when you’ve got company and I’ll make myself scarce.”

  “Compan—oh. Company,” I said, ears burning again. At this rate, Lee was going to think I was the world’s most nervous virgin.

  … he wasn’t going to be all that far from the truth, either. I wasn’t quite a virgin, but it’d been so long I might as well have been, and I was definitely nervous. Probably the most nervous.

  I wasn’t the good-time gay the entire rest of the ship seemed to be. I appreciated the quiet and I wasn’t just too old for the club scene—I’d never seen the appeal.

  Which was probably why I didn’t have any friends, gay or otherwise, and why it’d seemed so important to my sister that I meet people. As though every man she set me up with wasn’t a nightmare from first date to inevitable breakup.

  I was meant to be leaving awkward, quiet, cowardly Rowan behind in New York, but saying and doing were two different things and my roommate was so pretty I was getting tongue-tied around him. Not a great start.

  Lee laughed. “Don’t worry, you’ll be popular.”

  A knock on the door saved me from having to answer that.

  “Come in,” Lee called out.

  The sound of the bustling ship beyond burst through the door as a cabin steward opened it, beaming at both of us.

  I was starting to think that other people were more enthusiastic about boats than I was.

  “How are we doing in here?” he asked. “No problems?”

  Lee glanced at me and shrugged.

  “No, uh. I think we’re okay.”

  “Great!” the steward enthused. “If you need anything or you’ve got any concerns, don’t be afraid to flag down one of the staff. My name’s Brian, and I’ll be taking care of your cabin this trip. You won’t see me again if everything goes to plan, I’m just here to make sure the sleeping arrangements are acceptable and ask if there’s anything in particular you need me to know.”

  “Perfectly acceptable to me,” Lee said, laughter in his voice.

  Was he flirting?

  And if so, why?

  “Uh, yes.” I turned to look at the room once more. “Thank you. And no particular things to mention.”

  Brian grinned at us. “Perfect. Like I said, anything you need, just ask, we don’t bite. I’ll leave you two to settle in.”

  The door closed with a final clunk, leaving me alone with Lee again.

  “So, uh… socks. Right. I’ll… leave you be if I see one on the door handle.”

  It was a big ship. I was sure there’d be somewhere quiet.

  “Or come and join in if you like,” Lee said, stretching his arms high above his head and yawning. His t-shirt rode up, exposing a strip of skin under the hem, right where the deep V between his hips disappeared into the waistband of his jeans.

  I’d seen him naked, but this was what made my mouth go dry. A peek at what lay underneath his loose t-shirt.

  There was something wrong with me.

  And this was my roommate. This room was supposed to be his sanctuary as much as mine, and that probably didn’t include the other person occupying it drooling over him.

  Besides, he was out of my league. So far out of my league he might as well have been playing a different sport.

  “I’m kidding,” he said a moment later. “Could’ve been insulted by the look on your face, though.”

  The last thing I wanted to do was insult him.

  “I’m not accustomed to sleeping with people I don’t know,” I said, heat making the back of my neck itch. That was too personal a thing to tell him, but what choice did I have?

  “Oh.” He paused a moment. “Is it gonna bother you that I am?”

  I shook my head and shrugged for good measure. “Your body, your choice.”

  Lee's face lit up again. I was starting to like it when I made him do that. “Words to live by. I’m going for a walk. Wanna come along?”

  “Umm.”

  Yes.

  “No, thanks,” I said, pushing the urge to cling to Lee away. He didn’t need me ruining his vacation by imprinting on him like a newly-hatched duckling. “I’ll… I’m tired too. Might take a nap.”

  “I’ll be quiet when I come back,” he promised. “Sweet dreams.”

  I watched him stretch and yawn again as he left the cabin, wondering why I’d agreed to this vacation at all.

  2

  Lee

  I couldn’t stop grinning as I sauntered along the deck, soaking up what little afternoon sun the port in New York had to offer. Soon enough it’d be all tropical paradise, white sand beaches, and cocktails served in fresh coconuts.

  In the meantime, I’d hit the jackpot as far as roommates went. Quiet, neat, maybe a little awkward, but in the politest way possible. And apparently unlikely to bring anyone back to the cabin.

  That seemed like a shame. He was gorgeous, soft pink lips and pretty grey-blue eyes that looked even better when he was glancing shyly under his eyelashes. A man like that was a precious resource.

  Experience told me that the quiet ones were the most fun in bed, eager and affectionate and full of joy and laughter. Paying attention to them was rewarding.

  And we were on a ship full of people who would have grabbed onto Rowan with both hands. If he really wasn’t interested, I’d leave him be, but…

  He seemed like he could use someone to fuck the tension out of him. If ever there was a man in need of a vacation, he was it.

  “Lee, is that you?”

  The whole boat seemed to rock under me, my stomach lurching with the same feeling as missing a stair on the way down a long flight of them. I knew that voice.

  Of all the cruise ships in all the world…

  Okay. Deep breath. Not a big deal.

  Just an ex-boyfriend.

  No, the ex-boyfriend. The reason I was here hoping to drown my sorrows up to my elbows in gorgeous single men. The reason I’d told myself not to refuse any offer, that the only way to get over him was to get under someone else.

  Several someone elses, if at all possible.

  “Craig,” I said, turning to face him, blood rushing in my ears.

  Dammit.

  Oh, he looked good, too. Plucked and polished and perfect. He’d probably had his balls waxed for the occasion.

  … the fact that I’d done the same didn’t mean anything. I was allowed. I was the pretty one.

  Besides, there was nothing going for me aside from that.

  “New haircut?” I asked.

  He ran his fingers through short dirty-blond hair absently. “Yeah, it is. Thought it was time I tidied it up. See you’re still going for the just rolled out of bed look.”

  I shrugged. “Works for me. Saves me doing anything when I have just rolled out of bed. What brings you here?”

  “Same as you, I assume,” he said, flashing me a smile like he hadn’t torn my heart out of my chest and stomped on it for good measure the last time we’d seen each other. “I’m young, free, and single, and this is where all the pretty boys come to play.”

  Right.

  That was all he’d ever cared about, wasn’t it?

  I’d thought I was over it, but no. No, it still hurt. I could hear him laughing at me all over again as though it was five minutes instead of five months ago.

  “You’ll have the time of your life,” he said. “You always were a bit of a slut. This is gonna be perfect for you.”

  A flash of white-hot anger made me grit my teeth. That was what he thought of me, wasn’t it? That was all he thought of me. Fun in bed, so easy to please. And as far as Craig knew, all I cared about was sex, becaus
e he’d never asked me about anything else.

  And stupid as I was, I’d asked him to marry me.

  Him laughing like it was the greatest joke ever told was the best thing that’d ever happened to me.

  Sure, he had the jawline of a superhero and the cock to match, but in hindsight I could see that was all he had. I’d loved him because he paid attention to me, but the attention had only ever been about sex.

  And the sex had been fantastic, and that had felt like enough.

  But it wasn’t. I knew better.

  I was glad to be rid of him.

  That didn’t stop it hurting when he called me a slut like it was all a big joke, like there really wasn’t anything more to me than sex.

  “Actually,” I said. “I’m here with someone.”

  No.

  No no no.

  What was I saying?

  As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew I’d made a mistake. This wasn’t like running into him in the street, I couldn’t just make up a boyfriend on the fly and then never see him again.

  We were stuck on a cruise ship together for ten days. I’d never get away with it.

  But I’d said it now. It was too late to take it back.

  Craig raised an eyebrow. “Really?” he asked.

  Shit.

  Dammit.

  I couldn’t say no, could I? If I’d been humiliated the last time he laughed at me, then I’d be a whole lot more humiliated now.

  “Really,” I said.

  This was a mistake. This was a huge mistake.

  The look on Craig’s face was almost worth it, though.

  It was a big ship. Maybe I could get away with this lie. Maybe he’d never have to see this mysterious someone.

  The hot rush of revenge felt good. I’d found someone to replace him, and he hadn’t found anyone to replace me.